I’m going to go one better. First I’m going to answer all the questions Shelly responded to. Then I’m going to make up five of my own to pass on to my five victims, I mean writing acquaintances.
1. Show us the cutest, most adorable picture of your favorite animal:
A: No. I don’t do cute or adorable. I’ll just leave you with a mental picture of two stuffed animals tearing each other to their stuffing-level components. You choose which two cuddly toys get mutilated.
2. You have five seconds to survive the zombie apocalypse. Choose one friend who would save your butt and then tell us why you chose them.
A: My buddy Scott. He’s big and strong and slower than me. (I’ll refrain from adding any more hilarity to my response because he is big and strong and not that much slower than me.)
3. Share a quote with us:
A: “No matter where you go – there you are.” Buckaroo Banzai
4. Using exactly twenty seven words, tell your life story:
A: Born. Cry. Hungry. Cry. Hurt. Cry. Grow. Not cry – as much. Ant feast. Dog bite. Eat foot.
. High-school graduation. Work. Cry. Man up. Marriage. Teens. Crying. Texas
5. All dead rock legends live again. You’re standing in a fifty mile long line for:
A: Bachman-Turner Overdrive (The original grouping.)
6. Describe yourself using six words that start with the third letter of your middle name:
A: Wise-acre. Weird. Wonky. Wacky. Waddle. Whimsy. (It is entirely possible that I made up one of these words like I make up almost everything else.)
7. What do you think of when you hear the word wombat?
A: My first thought is the animal world’s most natural comedic talent. When I thought about it more, Roller-Derby came to mind. That’s what you get when you combine women and combat. Wombat.
That’s it for the first batch of questions. On Friday, I’ll put out my questions and a challenge of my own.